Ramona---Zombie Dog Extraordinaire

This is the last pic I took of Ramona and one of the best.

**This blog post was actually written 8-31-10 and never published. Sadly, Ramona, zombie dog extraordinaire, had to be put to sleep just 4 short months later on 12-30-10 due to worsening health and being unable to use her back legs any longer. We miss her terribly, stenches and all. After re-reading the post though, I didn't have the heart NOT to publish it because it made me smile to read it again. Love you Mona!!

Our dog Ramona, has just a few health issues at her ripe old age of fourteen years. She is missing quite a few teeth from her years of misadventures with her dental health. She has the sugar-beetis and gets insulin twice a day. She has a narrow trachea that makes it difficult to breathe when she gets too excited (when you're a million years old...peeing can be exciting) This makes her snore like a freight train even when she's just "cat-napping", grunt when she's walking, and makes eating so taxing that she now sometimes lays in front of the dish to feed her piehole. In addition to her 2 daily shots, she gets a total of 4 pills. BUT WAIT!! If you call in the next 90 seconds, we'll throw in a quart of noxious dog gas that could make even the most heinous beg for mercy.

After taking all of this into consideration, my husband has decided that she is part zombie. Parts of her have died and the rest of her body just hasn't received the message yet. The first really dead part of her has been determined to be her underbelly. It is hairless and pinkish-grey. It has lumps, bumps, anomalies, scabs, dry skin that peels off in large sheets, superfluous nipples that have grown in since we got her....it's just gross. No doubt about it, it has died at some point along the way.

We also have a new call for her...not the regular whistle or tongue click...we just moan "BRAAAAAINS". She always comes a-runnin'. (Well, not really. She's all but deaf and has cataracts and can't see for shit.) Despite all these seemingly terrible things, we love her to death and would hate for anything truly terrible to happen to her.

Charlie Murphy!!!

Meet the newest addition to the family...Charlie Murphy! Charlie just had his first birthday and is a miniature dachshund that needed to find a good home where his owners had more time to pay attention to him. Although, I worry about our other dog, Ramona's, mental health at the ripe old age of 12, I'm hoping that she and Charlie can come to some sort of agreement. Charlie kisses on the mouth, unlike Julia Roberts in 'Pretty Woman' as seen in the picture. Charlie likes to shower me with kisses after a long hard day at work. Ramona and Charlie have actually both sat with me on the couch on 2 separate occasions now without growls or barks. Charlie's true last name from his previous owner was Murphy, and if you have ever watched Chappelle's show, you surely understand why we will continue to call him Charlie Murphy. Murphy will just be his middle name now. Ramona will be dressing this Halloween as a "puppy hog" in a pig costume, and Charlie will be going as a vampire if he fits into the costume. I'll be sure to post pics of that for all to enjoy.