Monday, April 11, 2011
Cole's Arrival Story
I mainly use this blog space to blog about my Etsy business and my craftiness with occasional personal entries interjected. (although I've been a terrible blogger over the past year!) So many of you don't know about our struggles with infertility. It just seemed a very emotional and private part of our lives that I didn't feel ready to share with the world. I'll spare everyone the details unless there is someone out there that has a burning desire to know the specifics. I'll just say that we tried to conceive by not preventing pregnancy since 2004, casually sought answers in 2006-2008, got tired of it and took a break for a while, and then really hit things hard with full infertility work-up and treatments starting in Nov. 2009 until Feb. 2011 with one failed pregnancy in Mar. 2010.
After the failed pregnancy in 2010, we sought information on adoption. We were ignorant. So we met with a social worker that helps families through the process by completing the home study and assisting with all the work that goes into adopting. It sounded like something that was definitely an option for us, and I felt good about it after the meeting. But the mom inside of me just wasn't ready to give up on the idea of being pregnant. So back to the treatments we went. Then in December of 2010, I did laparoscopic surgery thinking my issue was endometriosis and all would be right with the world after that. Well, it wasn't endometriosis and all did not magically become right with the world, which we discovered after 3 more agonizing months getting to know our reproductive endocrinologist on a first name basis. It was especially romantic when I was inseminated on Valentine's Day. It's just every girl's dream!
My breaking point was when my husband and I decided on one last try. An end point was in sight. Either it was going to happen or we moved into the adoption route. The thought was comforting in a way. I went in for my baseline ultrasound and had a large cyst in my ovary. The options I was given were to take a month off or go on birth control pills and try again in 2 weeks. I chose option 3. Put a fork in me, I was done. It was too hard emotionally to deal with month after month. So we talked about it and decided it was time to have our 2nd meeting for our home study (10 months after our initial visit). We had already done our fingerprinting for our FBI and state clearances and had our child abuse checks done. We were on the road!
We had meeting #2 on Saturday, Apr. 2nd (oddly enough, 1 year to the day of my miscarriage in 2010). We discussed all the possibilities, options, etc. We chose an agency, started making calls to ask questions, and working on our application. We told our friends and family what we were doing. We called to get references written. Jumping in with both feet. We wanted to get the process rolling as soon as possible. I was just finishing up our application for the agency on Thursday evening (Apr. 7th), putting it in a priority mail envelope, and was sitting at the computer typing a cover letter to let the agency know that our home study was nearly complete and would be following our application shortly................
and the phone rang. It was 10 pm. It was our social worker. She wanted to know if my husband was home and asked me to put him on another line so she could talk to us both. There was a baby. He needed a home and he needed it tonight!!! We were both shocked and overwhelmed. We have no children...we have no nursery, no crib, no diapers, NOTHING!! Yes, we wanted him. Bring on the noise, bring on the funk!
We spent the next 2 hours glued to the phone calling our parents, our friends, our employers, random people from the phone book, and customer service lines to tell them the good news. Jeff ran out to Wal*Mart to get some essentials to get us through. A little after midnight on April 8th, our son, Cole, arrived on our doorstep and he was perfect! We became parents in the blink of an eye. So from start to finish I guess you could say our process was 10 months. Truthfully though, from the time we decided to be "in it to win it" until our son was placed with us was a whopping 6 days!!!! What a ride!